I have noticed a trend in the anecdotes I write, but also those I tell to friends and family in person. Poo. Or poop (depending on what side of the Atlantic you’re from). This has always been the case with me anyway; we all do it, we can all know about it and let’s face it…its funny right? Well not entirely. Poo stories are only ever funny on reflection or when it happens to other people. So here’s the latest one for your amusement.
Our household had been struck with yet another virus or tummy bug. Although after hearing about a friend whose family had encountered it recently, we probably got off lightly.
We had all had a restful night (for once) or at least that’s what I thought. It was Mummy’s turn for a lie in, so you can guess what that meant. All I could hear was ‘Oh God, urgh, what the…Oh Jesus’ from my husband. I thought, oh well, and rolled over. But then I couldn’t stand the Academy Award worthy performance any longer, so I grabbed my dressing gown and stomped into her room only to see her sleeping bag, bed sheets and hair encrusted with sick. Yes encrusted. How long had she been like that? God knows. But in our defense, she hadn’t cried or murmured all night.
The following night, it was Lil Man’s turn. Same scenario…middle of the night, all sound asleep and then pukey, vom, spew. Except we woke this time. Fortunately, there were no further chunks blown.
What about the poo? I hear you cry…
Well that came a couple of days later. Poor Lil Princess seemed to take the brunt of the virus.
I had put her down for a nap. She had seemed pretty volatile and clingy but I put that down to her being tired. When I returned I was hit with the stench again only this time it unmistakable. And it was visible. All over the sheets. The funny thing was (on reflection of course) she seemed to proud of it and cooed ‘Dat’ as she poked and smeared it around.
Oh and to top it off, at that same moment, I discovered the cat had puked on the landing.
It was my turn to do an Oscar Winning performance.