Breast is Best (left to someone else)

I’m going open this post by first saying, well done to all the breastfeeding mums out there. Its a tough enough job without people scrutinizing you for doing it in public.

That was a bit of a backhanded compliment, as now I’m going to say, can we just get on with life now?

I realise that its not really the mothers themselves I should aim this at, but the media, who as always, blow things out of proportion. I’m just sick of the whole Breast Buddies thing going on and debating the issue until the death.

Now, before you get your pitchforks at the ready, I breastfed. That’s right, past tense.

My brelfie - yes there is a bit of nip, sorry!
My brelfie – yes there is a bit of nip, sorry!

I did for 5 weeks with both of my babies and I’m bloody proud that I managed even that long. Especially as my baby girl has, what can only be described as, a cleft tongue. She had an operation when she was only weeks old to remove a large benign growth that had formed, splitting her tongue in two.

I stopped with both of them because I found it so upsetting when either of them couldn’t latch on properly; I would get so worked up. My son wanted it so much that it would take him an hour to feed every 2 hours; I couldn’t even go to the toilet. And as I had such a rough time with the delivery of both (read the whole story) that being sleep deprived was just prolonging my recovery.

It wasn’t an easy decision. As I have mentioned before, I actually felt a lot of guilt for giving up the breast. And I don’t feel as though I should.

I’m convinced its (as a friend of mine put it) the Breastfeeding Police that made me feel like this. Not mums who breastfeed, but anyone, professional or otherwise, who wants to ram down my throat that I really should be breastfeeding.

My bottle feeding selfie
My bottle feeding selfie

It is so personal, I don’t think anyone should feel bad about how you choose to feed your baby; breast or bottle.

Across all my mummy friends; the majority breastfed for some amount of time, ranging from a few days and to 8 months. Some of my friends (shock horror) decided, even before having their babies, not to breastfeed at all. I never asked them why, because I didn’t think they had to explain themselves, least of all to me.

 

So as much as I wanted to breastfeed, I’m going to leave it to the experts.

 

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A Cornish Mum

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23 comments

  1. I was undecided before having my son on how i wanted to feed him until just before when id decided to try breastfeeding. I managed 11 weeks and it was tough! Like you i had no time and thats not an exaggeration. Eating a meal was a struggle…i dreaded going anywhere because he would want to feed what seemed like constantly. I struggled for a few weeks with giving him formula i read that much on breastfeeding and its benefits i felt guilty also. 9 weeks later i still sometimes wish id kept it up BUT happy with his progress on formula too.

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    • I’m glad your son is doing well. I always think a happy mum = happy baby. And that is just as important as health. I, like you, wish I had persevered with my first born (as there was no medical/physical reason to stop) but every time he cried for milk I would be in tears because I would just want more than an hour or two break from him hanging off. Also, I was no good at doing it discreetly not that I was worried about offending people but I didn’t want to be exposing my nipples all the time (which I had to in order for both of mine to latch on properly). Thanks for reading and sharing your experience, its always nice to hear from other mums who have been through similar.

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  2. Amen. I’m not going into how I fed my son, it’s irrelevant. What I agree with is no one, mothers, midwives, the government, the media, has a say in what you or I choose to do. Information is just that and being informed is important. As is making the right choice for you. Great post Carly #effitfriday

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like what started as a positive thing has gone to a ridiculous level. Bottle feeding wasn’t even mentioned in my prenatal classes and I was told not to bring milk/bottles to hospital. Then my son was jaundiced and I was told I would have to supplement breastmilk with formula to improve his health. The midwives were pretty blase about it and I was really stressed because I knew nothing about bottle feeding (I know it’s not rocket science but new mum angst is a bit OTT sometimes).

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    • That’s daft isn’t it, that they don’t give options at classes. My lil one had to be supplemented from day one as she was in special care, this type of scenario really should be thought of more.

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  4. As long as your baby is fed and loved it DOESN’T matter. I am a breastfeeder, but it was the best choice for me and my family. I couldn’t care less how anyone else feeds their baby. All I care is if babies are being fed. Thanks for linking to #effitfriday

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I almost drove myself crazy being so militant on the breastfeeding thing with my first – I put so much pressure on myself. If I have another one, I just don’t know if I would go down that road again. Best to be happy and relaxed for both of you, no matter how you get there. Thanks so much for linking this up to #wineandboobs

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  6. This is a subject I have written about several times in the past. I get deeply frustrated that men don’t comment on breastfeeding. They are, after all, our children that are being fed.

    Anyway, the breastfeeding police can do one. Neither of my kids was breastfed for any great length of time. Essentially this was for medical reasons (mum simply didn’t produce milk). As a result I became quite acustomed to bottle feeding both my daughters at all times of the day and night and I loved it.

    It’s not what we wanted. We wanted exclusively breast fed kids for six months. Sadly it wasn’t to be and our kids have turned out absolutely fine. I don’t doubt that breast is best when everything’s going well, but when it isn’t, common sense must prevail. #wineandboobs.

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    • Definitely! I think any amount of breastmilk is good, they say the colostrum is the important stuff anyway. Its great to have a male perspective on the subject and you have a very positive attitude towards it! More men should be as supportive as you. Fortunately my husband was very supportive and still is. Thanks very much for your comments 👍

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  7. Loved reading this post.
    Personally, I really regret not even trying to breastfeed my girls when they were born. With my first I had just turned 17 years old and I felt I was too young {may not be a good enough excuse to some though!}. My 2nd I was depressed through pregnancy and just didn’t want to breastfeed. But now I have a complete change of mind. If I was to have another baby I would love to breastfeed. To have the experience. I am not sure I would do it for a long time but my aim would be 6 months.

    I really don’t like it when people say ‘breast is best’ as in better than bottle. As long as you are happy and your baby is full and fed then what is the problem?

    Great post!!
    Thank you so much for linking up with #justanotherlinky Hope too see you again Sunday. xxx

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  8. No one has the right to tell you to breastfeed if you dont feel its working. There are ladies like yourself who tried and stuck at it despite not having great experiences, which you should be applauded for! there are ladies who just get a bit weirded out by the idea and you knwo what thats fine too! I brestfed both of mine, Sassy to 9 months and Midge exclusively for about 2 weeks then combined to 6 weeks then bottle. I was lucky, with both girls from day 1 they latched and neither had a single problem, to me it was natural but that doesnt mean it would be for everyone!

    but everything surrounding child birth and pregnancy and rearing children (I dont like that term..) for some reason leaves us open to critisism and no matter which way we do things we are wrong in someones eyes.
    ‘Oh you had a c-section you took the easy way out’ – uhh no c-sections take so much more recovery than vaginal delivery.. ‘you used dummies you will ruin their speech’ – its a choice which was made. (I didnt have a section but did use dummies they are just examples i can think of) There will always be someone who think you need their advice, when in reality its upto you, your body, your child, your choices! just because we became mothers doesnt mean we suddenly need the world and its siblings to tell us how to do things, we became mums to teach the kids we dont need the teachong from everyone else!

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    • God I know! Everyone has an opinion and its hard to be tactful sometimes. All mums who care should get a pat on the back, and we really should be more supportive of each other. Thanks for reading and commenting 😀

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  9. It was ages ago but I am assuming it is no better now the hospital would not discuss bottle feeding in the antenatal classes and even when you were on the ward they would not discuss it either and took anyone into a private room, as if it was shameful. Crazy crazy. Much too far. We all do our best. Thanks for sharing your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Completely in love with this post, I breast fed for one week only and gave up because I just couldn’t handle it. The guilt was overwhelming and lead to more serious anxiety.
    It’s fantastic to hear something from the other side! Breast is only best if the mummy is happy to! I’m sure a baby would rather be bottle fed with a happy mummy than breast fed with an upset and struggling mummy!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My first son just really wouldn’t take to breast feeding and it was abit of a nightmare so he ended up being bottle fed, but his younger brother was fine and I fed until he grew teeth and a biting habit… however you feed your child is fine so long as you do 😉 There are so many different opinions on so many areas of parenting, but its whatever works for you and makes you happier as a family.

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix lovely sorry about the delay in commenting it#s been a ridiculous week and Pick n Mix reopens tomor!

    Stevie xx

    Liked by 1 person

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